I want to talk to you all about the concept of time, well MY concept of time. Before I start promise me you all will not judge me for my opinion, are my view on this topic. Because I know for a fact my view is twisted and deformed from over 2700 days, are 65700 hours of begging time to pass. I mean literally training my brain to never worry about a minute and teaching my eyes that looking at a clock may cause cataracts.
See the thought of time is a scary thought because guess what it makes us realize? That we are all on timer that you didn’t get to set. But we must try and accomplish the mission we were put on earth to accomplish in that short term. Plus stop and smell the roses and enjoy the special occasions as they unfold in front of you! See I’m speaking about this subject because I am finally grasping this concept called time.
After years of feeling lost without a set schedule, and abusing any free moment for topics that we can talk about later. I had a heart to heart amongst myself and myself. I said dude why can you not get anything done? Why are you late to every thing, I mean your late to being late because you forget. What will it take to make you get it? That’s when I had to stop stare at the sky and it flopped on my forehead! Death is only so far ahead, you know that so what you going to do? Well here’s what I’m doing about I’m living I’m a impatient man on my mission, because I be damned if I don’t accomplish my missions before I go!!!
Hey there family, I had the pleasure of watching a brother of mine say his vows over the weekend. Now don’t think I’m on some chick flick talk, but the experience made wonder. Wonder what it was like to have that, to have a companion that completes you all around. What does it feel like to wake up in a house full of your last name sakes? How does it feel to have that type of love around you at all times, and how nutritious is it for your soul?
I believe that we were not placed on this earth to live lonely! We were placed on this earth to pair up with someone and become one with them. Even though I’m a well known relationship killer, I understand that the basis of a good foundation is a better half. Well let me stop, I just wanted to tell you how a celebration of love, opened my mind and heart to the thought of a commitment and a life of sharing. Sharing my future and last name!
Family I have a PSA I need to get out to the world. I’m a about to take one of the words we use so loosely in are community and break it down in my lingo. Friends, yes a word I try to avoid because if you take the F, R, I out of friend what do you get? The end family, yes the end of whatever it was you lost with the discovery of a frenemy. See I feel people treat friendships like alliances, and exploit them like a playoff team with no defense.
Let me ask you this, would you rather loose a friend are a family member? Exactly a no brainer right! But hold on one second when I say family I mean those who play the role. Meaning what some consider as friends, I call family. Basically saying if I love you I show you. I have a test everyone should use when forming a bond. When you knock on the door, if they come to it and step outside to talk to you. That is not family, they might be on your rivals team! You leave animals outside not your loved ones. So today when you pull up on the so called homie, if he doesn’t offer you a seat on the couch delete his number!!!
I had a dream family, a dream that I have to tell you about. It was a dream in which there were no addicts. No one had cancer are aids, and the projects were condos. If a woman was a single mother it was by choice, and the gospel to the children were a parents voice. Meaning there peers didn’t have a bigger influence are a rappers lifestyle wasn’t what they mimicked! Someone had turned a couple of old high dollar hotels into shelters and served KFC every Wednesday.
Some guy that owned like a million car lots had a program with the schools, he gave all strait A juniors a new whip! The drug companies lost some of their greed and gained more compassion, they started selling medication on a income scale. People’s words meant something again, and hating became a felony. Speaking of those I had none, and had never saw a yard. I was actually living and not existing, me and the family was on top no below the knees, all above the shoulders. Then I woke up and realized I was sleeping on a couch with the TV still on. Damn who got some NyQuil?
What up family, I got a question for you all. On one hand you have a plan and a vision that you knew could change the world, but on the other hand you struggling mentally and financially, you scraping your knuckles up trying to get off your back. You don’t like reaching out palm up to your people and you starting to wonder why you’re luck was better when you was endorsed by the grim reaper. You’re straddling the fence between entrepreneur and felon daily. The decisions you make are getting worse by the second, because we all know desperate is dangerous!
So the next question is this, do you stay positive and build from the daily suffering. Are say fuck this I need to get some sort of stability, go commando and hit the streets like a Mozzy c.d? But your not so common sense tells you, bro I don’t got another ten in me! Forget that you know how that last bit did us. DAMN you holler out in frustration, then you pick your chin up drop your pride and open your eyes. And guess what happens, that vision begins to unfold and you realize how close you were to reverting back to idiot of the year. But Great things never occur overnight, and always come with heavy sacrifice. God told me that then showed me!
I’m 39 years old, almost the same as hip hop. Yeah, me and my generation got the privilege of watching the crack era first hand. Some of us, we’ll all of us are a product one way are the other. If one of your parents wasn’t on it they probably sold it. This was before choppers, when goons carried 12 gauges and rusty 38s, with tape on the handle. Michael Jordan was still second to Magic and Bird at this time. MTV raps came out and I cried when my moms said I couldn’t get the Gumby box.
I bet this really blows your mind, the Dboys used to wear biker shorts and fanny packs! With a leather African medallion on top of a black Bart Simpson T shirt. Suzuki jeeps and Chevets were the Challengers and Chrysler 300s. Before gaming you had to go outside and use your imagination. The games that we played, boy! Don’t laugh to hard, but everybody’s mother had a curl and shoulder pads on her dress! Hell some people’s Dad had a curl to, can you imagine how they furniture looked!
All the same time California birthed a guy named Too Short. Then a group of curls and Raiders jackets said fuck the police, N.W.A made everybody want to be from Compton. Then there was M.C.hammer, The original Bay Area ambassador. I’m a stop reminiscing but I just wanted y’all to know this. Lead paint, cockroaches and government cheese helped us become soldiers!
A couple of years ago I was walking the track in Boonville penitentiary talking with a few of my amigos about how to help the young life out. You know maybe keep a few from being as dumb as we were. Build community centers, give them jobs and encourage them to play sports we’re a few of the answers I heard. But I guess I caught one of those cases of temporary intelligence. Because it hit me, the most important thing we could do to help a child in my eyes would be to help the people that birth them get to a point were they can be who they are meant to be! I mean when I was young I liked going to the YMCA and all. But if pops could have been fixed and placed back my into my life, who knows how things could have been for me.
Just imagine that you fumbled the life ball, and became a shell of who you knew you were. Would you want your kids acknowledging a half as you, being the joke of the neighborhood, embarrassing them more than encouraging them? I think not, see rather we want to except it are not parents are supposed to be super heroes to kids. We can teach them a hundred languages and every computer program known. But with out that love and leadership from the ones you are born addicted to giving you that, what do you get. You get an angry frustrated genius that will spend the next twenty years wondering why they had it so rough. If you think I’m lying ask your self this, how many times have you sat wondering why one of your parents were not around!